Saturday, September 25, 2010

6 Men Arrested because of burned Quran at the British Pub


LONDON - A group of six men who were arrested after a recording on YouTube show them to burn a book of the Quran in the yard of a pub in the city of Gateshead, northern England, on the anniversary of 11 September 2001 terrorist attacks in the United States (U.S.)Police said yesterday.


Northumbria Police state the man was released after a bail amount is not disclosed.

Six men will be brought to a court to be tried for committing the act.

News catch is disclosed for the public yesterday.

According to police, two of the six men were arrested on 15 September and the rest were arrested on September 22 last year.

According to a newspaper yesterday, in a YouTube video, six men are around a book of the Koran in the grounds of The Bugle Pun Lana Leam, Felling in Gateshead town.

Video clip that shows the face of all the man is covered with a cloth.

The six males that showed the book to the camera.

They then poured the oil from a can of red into the book and burn it.

A man wearing Adidas makes some snotty signal to the two books before it is burned.

All the men were arrested after a controversial hit in the U.S. as a priest in Florida, Terry Jones stated he would burn the Quran in commemorating the anniversary of 11 September 2001 terrorist attacks in the U.S. which caused more than 3,000 people were killed. - Agencies


Friday, September 24, 2010

Cats funny Video

funny video (1)

Work Jokes (2)

SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sondra gets none.

DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.

Work Jokes (1)

For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.

10 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters I

1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come.
When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers.
Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room.
When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.
6. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.
7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.
8. When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"
9. When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your
head off. Slam the door and runaround the house, screaming until they go away.
10. Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy.

courts joke

There is a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Some of these are excellent ...
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the accident?
A: Gucci sweatshirt and Reeboks.

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: By whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere

Things To Do In An Elevator




1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
4) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
5) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
6) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
7) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
8) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
9) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
10) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
11) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
12) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
13) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
14) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
15) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Man VS Women

A man found a magic genie who would grant him one wish. The man said to the genie,” I wish that I had a non-stop bridge from here to Hawaii." The genie said,” I’m sorry, but that's going to be very hard. Do you have another wish?" The man answered, "Of course! I want the power to understand all women." The genie thought for a minute. He replied, "How many platforms did you want on that bridge?"

Penguins

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says okay, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins -- and they're all wearing sunglasses. He pulls the guy over and demands, "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach!"

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Software Upgrade Problem

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can i do?

Signed Desperate



Dear Desperate

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoringloudly.wav files.

Whatever you do , DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it has limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance.

One more to add, force-usage of Husband 1.0 will cause rejection or deletion of Wife 1.0 program totally.

Good Luck,,,,,

soft cats


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The pro & cons evolution of the 21st century

Cons
====
Our labour - Effortless

Our relations - Fruitless

Our attitude - Careless

Our feelings - Heartless

Our politics - Shameless

Our education - Worthless

Our mistakes - Countless

Our arguments - Baseless

Our youth - Jobless

Our ladies - Topless

Our boss - Brainless

Our jobs - Thankless

Our needs - Endless

Our situation - Hopeless

Our salaries - Less and less

Pro
===
Our communication - Wireless

Our phones - Cordless

Our cooking - Fireless

Our food - Fatless

Our Sweets - Sugarless

Cats face



Thursday, September 2, 2010

JPJ monitoring four death stretches




KUCHING: At least 32 death stretches have been identified along the state’s trunk road stretching from Sematan to Lawas but only four will be observed by the Road Transport Department (JPJ) during this coming festive season.



State JPJ director Abdul Hamed Akob said that the department would be intensifying its enforcement exercise throughout the festive period and their main focus will be along the places that had been categorised as death stretch.
“However, with the strength that we have it is impossible for us to patrol all the dangerous spots. In the coming festive season we will be on the lookout for these four dangerous stretches, from km 11 to 24 of Jalan Kuching-Serian, Jalan Bukit Sebangkoi, Sarikei (km 19 to 25), Jalan Oya Sibu (km 10 to 21) and Jalan Kidurong, Bintulu (km 5 to 22),” he pointed out.
He said this at a media conference on Ops Sikap XX11 which aimed to minimise road tragedies in conjunction with Hari Raya at the Biaramas Depot at Mile 8, Penrissen Road near here yesterday.
On the road safety campaign which will begin tomorrow (Sept 4) until Sept 19, Hamed said that about 80 enforcement officers will be deployed to patrol the areas to ensure that motorists drive with extra care to avoid any untoward incidents.
“This time our approach will be a bit different. We will not conduct static road blocks but our enforcement officers will be patrolling and are visible. We want to create a perception of being caught (POBC) among the road users,” he said.
Abdul Hamed said that this time their focus will be on public transport, particularly express buses, which travel on long distance and therefore these drivers should be road worthy at all time.
“We will continue to visit express bus companies to inspect their vehicles, brakes and tyres. Apart from that, their log books, co-drivers, and the necessary permits and licenses for vehicles and drivers will also be checked. We want to make sure that all the documents are valid,” he noted.
He said apart from the public transport, the department will also be monitoring taxis and hired vehicles for any possibilities of them committing offences such as over charging, failure to use metres for taxis in Kuching, Sibu and Miri, or refusing to take passengers.
“Passengers who encountered any of these situations can file their complaints directly to the JPJ enforcement officers on duty at the bus terminals in the major towns of the state. They can also call our control room at 082-628725 or email to p.sar@jpj.gov.my
Meanwhile, Abdul Hamed forewarned motorists to avoid being captured breaking the road traffic rules.
“Our officers will go undercover and take photos of people committing offences such as beating traffic lights, jump queue, overtaking on double line, reckless driving and overloading.
“Summonses will be issued to offenders and the compound for all offences will be a maximum RM300,” he warned.
On the other hand, he advised motorists to always be courteous when driving and before heading out on a long journey, make sure drivers have enough rest and vehicles are in good condition.
“Send your vehicles for servicing to ensure that they are roadworthy, especially if you plan to go on a long distance journey,” he said.
After the press conference, the enforcement officers inspected the Biaramas express buses to ensure that they are fit to go on the road.
Among those present at the press conference were State Road Safety Department (JKJR) director Rano Aylwino Akat, Biaramas Express Sdn Bhd director Henry Lai and the company’s manager Lai Sin Kiong.

Glomac acquires seven-acre land in Cyberjaya for RM27.4 million



KUCHING: Glomac Bhd (Glomac) announced that it entered into a sales and purchase agreement with Cyberview Sdn Bhd and Setia Haruman Sdn Bhd for the proposed acquisition of a seven-acre land in Cyberjaya, for a purchase consideration of RM27.4 million.
The company would finance the acquisition through a combination of internal funds and bank borrowings, said RHB Research Institute Sdn Bhd (RHB Research) in its research note yesterday.
On the surface, the total consideration translated into a land cost of RM90 per square feet (psf),  compared with RM26 psf for Mah Sing Group Bhd and RM36 psf for Paramount Corporation Bhd.
The research firm further stated that considering Glomac’s land was a commercial land with higher plot ratio and density compared with residential land, the acquisition price of RM27.4 million was therefore reasonable.
This seven-acre land is located in the centre of the Cyberjaya Enterprise Zone and adjacent to Glomac’s existing Glomac Cyberjaya project. Fronting the main road, the land is also surrounded by other prestigious buildings such as those housing corporations HSBC Bank Malaysia Bhd, IBM Malaysia, DHL Express (Malaysia) Sdn Bhd, BMW Malaysia Sdn Bhd, Ericsson (Malaysia) Sdn Bhd and others.
Upon completion, the same concept as Glomac Cyberjaya will be adopted for the land as an extension to the project’s existing development.
Comprising mainly commercial shop offices and a 15-storey office block, 75 per cent of the project had been sold with the remaining 25 per cent to be launched in the next financial year, targeted for ‘en-bloc’ sales.
“As the gross development value of the new piece of land was not given in the announcement, we maintain our financial year 2011-2013 forecast, pending update from the management,” said RHB Research.
Based on this year’s general outlook, the research firm pegged Glomac’s target price at RM1.56 per share.

Govt urged to set up Veteran Department


KUCHING: The status of ex-police personnel and people’s perception of them would change if their contributions are formally recognised by the government.
In connection with this, the State Ex-Policemen Association chairman Datuk Wan Junaidi Tuanku Jaafar said he would continue to push for the setting up of a Veteran Department, hopefully by 2011.
He also wants the government to acknowledge those who served during the insurgency period by awarding them the ‘Pingat Jasa Malaysia’ (PJM).
“The country’s peace and stability that we enjoy now is the result of their sacrifice. We should not take it for granted,” he said.
Wan Junaidi, who is also Deputy Speaker of the Lower House of Parliament and  Santubong MP, said he has written to and met with the Home Minister and  has  discussed  with  Deputy Prime Minister the setting up a department similar to what the Armed  Forces have.
He was speaking to reporters yesterday after handing over financial aid totalling RM8,700 and rice to 58 widows of ex-policemen.
It was still very difficult to get any sort of help from the community, especially in financial support, Wan Junaidi said.
“We don’t have any resources. We get our support from the public through our fund-raisers, donations from individuals, and personal contact with people whom we feel are able to contribute.”
He also revealed that out of the hundreds letter they sent, they only get about 10 per cent response.
“It’s  not  tiring to sign a letter, but it is disappointing that your letter is not even worthy of a response,” he lamented.
Meanwhile, the association also wanted to declare their unanimous support for the Chief Minister Pehin Sri Abdul Taib Mahmud.
“We  are  not  a political group, but we pray that he continues to lead us,”Wan  Junaidi said.
Also present were the association’s state deputy chairman, Jack Joni, and vice chairman Iskandar Abdul Kadir Merichan. The Sarawak Ex-Policemen Association has more than 5,000 members.


Taib unsure whether to contest in State election



KUCHING – Sarawak Chief Minister Abdul Taib Mahmud has yet to decide whether to defend his state seat in the coming 10th state election.
The 74-year-old Taib, who is the state’s longest-serving chief minister for 29 years since March 26, 1981, said he could not decide for himself on this as it needed to be discussed and approved by others.
“I don’t know… it is up to the party and the prime minister,” he told reporters after presenting Amanah Raya Berhad (ARB) scholarships to three Sarawak students pursuing their studies at Al-Azhar University today.
The students are Mohammad Zubair Mustafa who was studying at Sekolah Menengah Agama Persekutuan in Labu, Negeri Sembilan, Faliq Asraf Jafri from SMK Agama Tunaz in Kuching and Nadira Hamapei from SMK Agama Miri.
Taib, who was previously Asajaya assemblyperson before moving to the Balingian state seat in 2001, said he was ready to quit if the situation required him to do so.
“A lot of people say I’m not needed. If I’m not needed, I will go out,” he said.
Taib who is PBB president since 1981 and Sarawak BN chairperson, said he had wanted to quit politics in 2006 but many within the party were against it and finally he decided not to retire.
As to when he would likely call for the state election, he said the matter had not been decided yet.
On Chinese voters’ sentiments in Sarawak that still preferred the opposition rather than BN, he said the trend puzzled him until today.
“I’ve also asked the same question, I want to know,” he said, adding that the state goverment had sincerely tried to win the hearts of Chinese voters but it still failed to do so until today.
In the 2006 state election, PBB won 34 of the 71 state seats, followed by SUPP with 11, Parti Rakyat Sarawak (PRS) nine and Sarawak Progresive Democratic Party (SPDP) eight, while the rest were won by opposition parties. – BERNAMA
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